Thankful

I first want to say that the lord blessed me today and that I am so grateful that he helped me through the tough time that I have been having!!! He answered a prayer for me today and that is such a burden off of my shoulder a load off of my heart!!! I also want to say that I am so lucky to have my baby girl yes I know that she is three years old and that she isn't a baby any more but she is my baby and the only one that I have and that I have never been so scared in my life than I was at the prospect of loosing her... but like I said the lord blessed and kept me. I don't know what I would do with out him in my life. I know that I am not a church goer and that I am not the poster child of chritianity but I can say that he answers prayer and I am truly truly blessed. so from the bottom of my heart Thank you Lord for your blessings on me!!! someone I once knew wrote a song and for some reason it has stuck with me this 13 some odd years and I really feel like it is part of what gave me the strength to get threw this sane and able to live with myself. the words are meaningful to me and as a kid I thought that it was just a song well now that I am older I know that what songs say are what makes them mean so much to all of us. and I know that all of my blogs kinda go off in other directions from where I start but all I want is to just ramble sometimes I am not doing this to prove how good I am or whatever I ramble that is just who I am and things that mean a lot to me usually don't make since either so..... oh well any way it is almost midnight so I am going to bed and please remember this...

Lord make my words sweet as hone because I might have to eat them later.

ok...

well sitting here alone again.... mu hubby works hard and I know that but I just wish he didn't work nights. and I am playing on Facebook and wondering about things and I don't know why I let them get to me but... here it goes I mean God gave us a little voice in our heads hearts or whatever they say it is in but what I am saying is what is it with people lie and cheating to get things they don't need? I mean I have done things that I am not proud of, we all have! but to keep doing it and make other people suffer because of it I mean seriously people!?!? I guess we all get what is coming to us in the end but what about us that want to see the bad people get what is coming to them??? I know I know being spiteful never hurt any one but yourself but I am a firm believer in the " I don't get mad I get even" theory so why is it that I have to sit and wait??? patience is a virtue I know but what can I say I am honest when I put this here I am not the most virtues person in the world. I try to be a good person. I have manners I am nice to people even when they arn't nice to me I go out of my way to do a friend a favor and I put myself under a lot of stress to do so but all I get in return is more stress than I can handle. I mean I go out of my way to be honest with people and I go out of my way to make sure that no one needs anything. I am a people pleaser though so what good that does me none I can't stand not having someone like me I have to heck with it all and being hateful is the wrong way to get things done but it almost seems that it is the only way to get things done and that is not fair!!!!! I mean look at all the people who try and they get crap handed to them and look at all the people who lie and cheat and and they have all they WANT and need thats not fair not right not not not!!!!!! I think that if we all tried a little harder then it would not only be a better world but it would make our lives so much easer!!! Any way this is my first REAL blog and I think that it is about time for me to go to bed it has been a day a long one at that so I am going to say goon night and please remember that you catch more flys with honey than with vinegar so be nice and smile at people it is like when you throw a rock in the water it has the ripple affect and every one wants to try it.


Good night all and get some rest and have a nice weekend!